#rmdo Candyman, Corpses, and #fringe #humor

In the latest episode of Fringe, from the 2nd season, that Mary and I are viewing on Amazon Prime, 3 autopsied  but animated corpses sat up and sang "Candy Man".
Weirder and weirder.. #rmdo

#rmdo Heart Attack Snow #humor

The Detroit, Michigan suburbs has been experiencing above average snow falls this year. This prompted a conversation between my brother and me:
Tim Dittmer: Boy, oh boy! I was sure glad I bought that snow blower this morning.
Heart attack snow.
Mike Dittmer: Boy, oh boy! I was sure glad I had the sense to marry a woman  who lives in a condo, where they shovel the snow for us, and we spent most of February in Florida. #rmdo

#rmdo #TGFTLL Socks #humor

Thank God for the little things. I put 4 socks into the dryer. I took 4 socks out!! #rmdo

#rmdo #coding and #education

If you're making decisions about your future education, here is an something you should consider - coding. #rmdo

#rmdo #mcdonalds WHY WASNT I CALLED??!! #humor

I found, through a random question at the drive through, that McDonald's brought back their delicious cherry pies.
They had stopped selling them almost a year ago. Shortly afterwards their stores had a disastrous financial report in which, for the first time in 10 years, their stores sales dropped. Their CEO was fired.
I blogged about this and told McDonalds that if they wanted their store sales to get back on track again, they needed to BRING BACK CHERRY PIES! I reminded them of this every time I went through the drive through, until, partly though despair and partly because Mary made me, I quit asking for cherry pies for several months.
Now, without announcement or fanfare, at the original low price of two for a dollar, (they were 2 for $1.39 when they stopped selling them) cherry pies at McDonalds are back.
What upsets me, Ronald McDonald, is this: WHY WASN'T I CALLED??!! #rmdo

#rmdo Ketchup and Kisses #humor

Mary and I stopped at the drive through for burgers. Mary got some ketchup on her face. I offered to clean off the ketchup with kisses. Mary said No.. not while I'm driving. #rmdo

#rmdo Life Giving Hell Fire Quenching GRACE! #prayer #wisdompoet

Only Your GRACE! keeps me from being consumed by Your fiery anger..
GRACE! that flows like a mighty river from the Cross.
I embrace that Cross where Your Son willingly died for my sins.
Fill my heart, soul, body, spirit, my life..
with a flood of Your life giving, Hell fire quenching GRACE! #rmdo

#rmdo Drawing a Box Around #God #humor #romance

Mary and I will soon be married 3 years, the day after my 65th birthday. I find both her and our love amazing.
Time after time during this 3 years I will say, "It can't get any better!?" and then it does.
I'm going to try to quit drawing a box around God and how much He can bless the love between two of His children. #rmdo

#rmdo Further Observations About #Fringe #geekhumor

Two further observations about Fringe:
1. The plot line is about whackey people chasing even whackier people.
2. Never say at any point that the plot line can't get any stranger. #rmdo

#rmdo #fringe: weirder and weirder #humor

Mary and I are watching another episode of the first season of Fringe. This episode deals with the spontaneous combustion of people. It just keeps getting weirder and weirder. #rmdo

#rmdc SETTLED! #dralberta

It's SETTLED! RECEIVE! REMAIN! REJOICE! Dr. Alberta (the sermon outline made a good quote, don't you think?)

#rmdo #homeschooling, #salvation, #grace #wisdompoet

Homeschooling is (or should be) like salvation- not a burden but a joy, relying on the indwelling grace flowing from the child made in the IMAGE OF GOD. #rmdo

#rmdo Fairness vs Generosity #wisdompoet

I don't want God to be fair. I want God to be generous. God doesn't give us what we deserve. He gives us what we need.#rmdo (Dr. Alberta brought up this point in his message which reminded me of my quote from some time ago.)

#rmdc The AGONY of being a Shepherd #dralberta

There is the taste of agony in being a Shepherd of God's people- Dr. Alberta

#rmdc The Answer is.. #dralberta

What is the GIFT of GOD? Salvation.. or the faith to receive it?! The answer is YES! Dr. Alberta

#rmdo The NAMES OF GOD!! #wisdompoet

What tremendous power and teaching is found in discovering the NAMES OF GOD!! #rmdo

#rmdo HOME in South Lyon, Michigan #humor

After selling my long time home in Indiana, where I raised my family and started a church, I realized South Lyon is now HOME.
It helps that Mary, my new bride of 3 years this March 4th, is tbe one woman Welcome Wagon. She's doing a good job. #rmdo

#rmdo Essential Skill #humor

Mary asked if there was ice cream in the freezer. I couldn't remember. I was so embarrassed. Memorizing the entire contents of the freezer/refrigerator, including expiration dates, was an essential skill growing up in a large family of 8.
Mary said there was no chocolate syrup. I knew better. She looked again and found it. #rmdo

#rmdo Creator, Creation, Me #wisdompoet

Creator, Creation, Me.. created, connected, hidden.. Crucifixion, Resurrection, Revelation.. joyous journey, daily delights! #rmdo

#rmdo A RICH MAN!! #wisdompoet

If I understand THE MYSTERY OF GOD, how God's strength is perfected in my weakness, then I am a RICH MAN!! #rmdo

#rmdo Sir #Apple vs #evil #samsung #dragons #applevssamsung

Sir Apple strikes another blow against the evil dragon Samsung. The lawsuit of Samsung against Apple for intellectually property infringement was rejected by a German judge.
Apple successfully painted the contest as a blow against blind people, for the app that Samsung is defending is used by the blind to turn on an app for blind people.
Nothing is mentioned about Apple refusing to pay for the app. Apple was more interested in the bad publicity it could garner against Samson in the lawsuit. 
This strategy of Apple is not always successful. Note the 3 billion dollar lawsuit against Samsung that turned Samsung into the world's largest smartphone manufacturer.

#rmdo #coffee Truck #humor

We were watching a home makover show situated in San Francisco when a fancy coffee truck pulled up and everybody took a break. NOTE: A fancy coffee truck is like an ice cream truck for adults. #rmdo

#rmdo Lacking Motivation #humor #winterstormo

God is good! We arrived home last night in Michigan just ahead of Winterstorm O. We woke up with several inches of snow on the car. During our last day of driving North on I 75, the road crews were spreading salt water, a sign that we were just one step ahead of the storm.
It took three exhausting days to drive home, but only one day to drive down to Florida. Driving INTO warm weather is more movitating than driving AWAY from it. #rmdo 

#rmdo #joyjohns Business Idea #humor

Great business idea inspired by recent circumstances: Joy Johns by traffic jams. #rmdo

#rmdo Switching Up #crackerbarrel Restrooms #humor

9 out of 10 times the Men's Restroom at The Cracker Barrel Restaurant is on the left side of a short hallway. They switch up the 10th one to keep me alert. #rmdo

#rmdo #michiganuniversity vs #ohiostate

Mary, the ever loyal Michigan University girl, couldn't resist saying, as we pulled into the I 75 Ohio Rest Stop, OH! HOW I HATE OHIO STATE!! #rmdo

#rmdo NORTH to ATLANTA #humor

We spent the night in Macon GA. While getting ready for leg 2 of our trip home, a song comes to mind. How does it go again? NORTH to ATLANTA! Goin' North.. the rush is on! #rmdo

#rmdo BIG MAC.. one thing thou lackest #humor #mcdonalds

BIG MAC.. one thing thou lackest to be perfect.. HORSEY SAUCE! #rmdo

#rmdo Driving Through Florida #humor

Driving through Florida: All day drive = 1/2 state! #rmdo

#rmdo WARNING!! POISONOUS SNAKES!! #humor

There were WARNING!! POISONOUS SNAKES!! signs everywhere at the Florida Rest Stop. Fortunately Mary saw the signs AFTER she used the restrooms. #rmdo

#rmdo Competitive #humor

Mary is COMPETITIVE! Every time I say I'm a step ahead of her, she threatens to whack me with her cane. #rmdo

#rmdo Winter is Depressing #humor

The thought of driving from 70 degree Florida back to wintry Michigan is depressing. #rmdo

#rmdo Make Shopping FUN!! #humor

The easiest way to make shopping fun is to go to the X shop AMAZON here X page link on the top bar of all my blogs. 
OR.. you could shop at your local store.. #rmdo

#rmdo Little Tiny Fairy Feet #humor

When I was fitted for my new shoes, it was discovered that I needed size 14, instead of my previous size 15. My new shoes feel like little tiny fairy feet. #rmdo

#rmdo WHAT!? #humor

Mary: Some of the older people in this restaurant seem to be hard of hearing. Me: WHAT!!?? #rmdo

#rmdo Being Raised in #garyin #humor

Being raised in Gary Indiana, my heart always rejoices when I look outside and see our car still has all 4 tires on it. #rmdo

#rmdo Powerful, Tweetable,Poetic Quotes #wisodmpoet

I had always shortened my sermons, never preaching more than 30 minutes and often preaching just 10 minutes, but after I became a member of  Twitter, I let the editor personality in me run  wild, editing a single thought until it was less than 140 characters, even better if it was under 100 characters.
What resulted was the thought often became powerful, quotable, poetic, and, of course, tweetable.
Several of my friends have made similar discoveries, such as Eugene Wiesner, Asad Rafi, and my brothers Tim Dittmer and Ted Dittmer.
Many of my short quotes are humorous, but most of the serious meditations I have placed, for your enjoyment, on a blog called http://myshepherdsheartjournal.blogspot.com/ #rmdo

#rmdo Buster the #poodle Steals the Car #humor

We left Buster, Mary's toy Poodle, in the car. I forgot to lock it. Mary strongly believes Buster won't steal the car. I'm not so sure. #rmdo

#rmdo The Fearless #vampire Killers #humor

I was a fearless vampire killer. There were barns, wooden ships, submarines, and dark woods infested with vampires, and a living womb like cave nurturing vampire babies in the walls. I had allies and enemies, and we were winning the war. I always won.
Years ago the war had started at the cave where I had killed 13 vampires in their sleep with hand tools. I had gone back to the same cave with allies when suddenly we were attacked by a black furry monster that flew from room to room. A woman was screaming GET OUT!! GET OUT!!
As adrenaline began pumping through my body, my dream began to materialize into reality. I saw the black furry monster change into a big black Labrador Retriever bouncing from room to to room in our motel. The screams were coming from Mary, who was trying to catch the happy interloper.
He had bounced into our room like a enthusiastic black Tigger after Mary had walked Buster and left the ground level motel room door open at 4 am. She finally got her hands on his collar as he crawled into our bed, the same bed where I, a few minutes earlier, was happily dreaming. #rmdo

#rmdo #voicesinmyhead SPEAK UP!! #humor

The secret to working with voices in my head.. encouraging the voices with good ideas to SPEAK UP!! #rmdo

#rmdo Fueling Up To Fight #Terrorists #humor

Before we watched Bruce Willis aka John McClane go though his grueling ordeal fighting terrorists, Mary and I had to fuel up at Steak and Shake. Yippee-ki Yay, Mother Russia! #rmdo

#rmdo #meteor TOO CLOSE!! #humor

When I read graffiti on the side, THE METEOR IS TOO CLOSE!! #rmdo

#rmdo #mayorbloomberg's birthday party #humor

Mayor Bloomberg will be celebrating his 71st birthday. Beverages will be limited to one 16 ounce serving. #rmdo

#rmdo #retina display #stevejobs hocum #humor

"Retina" display is a word invented and of course copyrighted by Apple to describe a dense enough pixelation that the human eye can distinguish individual pixels at normal viewing ranges. The amount of pixels per square inch, the size of the device, and the standard viewing distance were all determined by Steve Jobs. It implies authority and expertise, and since the phrase is copyrighted, no other company can have the same implied expertise or standard applied to their displays.

In other words, Retina Display is hocum.

The picture is one of Steve Jobs selling his iTea. #rmdo

#rmdo Barbecue Sauce and Laundry #humor

One more restaurant (Smokey Bones) with barbecue sauce.. one more shirt in the dirty laundry. #rmdo

#rmdo Chaotic World #wisdompoet

God placed us in a chaotic world. 
He can only be seen through eyes of faith. 
His strength plus our weakness is beauty. #rmdo

#rmdo #vertuti New $10000 phone #humor

Me: The new Vertu Ti smartphone is out!! Only $10000!! 
Mary: LET'S GET THREE!

#rmdo Being Good: IT'S HARD!! #humor

The little girl on the elevator got new pink sandals for being good for a week. She said being good was hard for her. 
It's hard for me, too. #rmdo

#rmdo #timmcgraw #valentinesday

After we went to the movie Die Hard 5, we came back to the motel after midnight, which made it officially Valentine's Day. On Mary's night stand, I had left a card for Mary. When she opened it, it played the song I'm Amazed By You!

I dunno how you do, what you do, I’m so in love with you
It just keeps getting better, I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side, for ever and ever
Every little thing that you do, baby, I’m amazed by you

#rmdo #brucewillis aka #johnmcclane #diehard #ducttape #humor

We're waiting to see It's a Good Day To Die Hard. I admire a man who fights terrorists with duct tape. #rmdo

#rmdo BIG CHANGES!! #weather #humor

This evening it's 80 but weatherman says BIG CHANGES tonight. It will drop to THE 60s!! #rmdo

#rmdo Dressing like a Floridian #humor

Dressing like a Floridian to fit in.. how do I look? #rmdo

#rmdo #tree vs #woman #wisdompoet

A beautiful tree in Florida Mary and I enjoyed often, because it was in the parking lot of our favorite hot dog stand, Mustard's Last Stand, in Melbourne City.

I think a tree is like a woman.
Neither are aware of the beauty their creation brings into the lives of others, because the men in their lives fail to pass this along.
Compliment that woman often on her efforts to bring beauty into the life of us plain living men, whether she's your sister, mother, daughter, bank teller, or especially your long suffering wife. 
And thank God often for a beautiful tree. I am certain He will pass the word along. #rmdo

#rmdo Mustard's Last Stand #humor

Ate here 2 days in a row.. brunch yesterday, lunch today.

#rmdo Florida in February with Mary #humor

I like being in Florida in February with Mary. I like being anywhere anytime with Mary. #rmdo

#rmdo #philosophy vs #god #wisdompoet

Men's philosophy invents infinite ways to blame ourselves and God. God made THE WAY to embrace us without blame. #rmdo

#rmdo #sharkattacks, #brevard county, and #findingnemo #humor

While staying in Brevard County, Florida, the shark attack capital in 2012, Mary nixed the idea of playing finding nemo in the Atlantic Ocean. #rmdo

#rmdo Normal and Relative #humor

Just because normal is relative doesn't mean relatives are normal. #rmdo

#rmdo New Shoes #humor

I'm wearing new shoes. My old shoes were 5 years old. I got my money's worth. #rmdo

#rmdo Mango #girlscoutcookies #humor

Not so sure we like the new Mango flavored Girl Scout Cookies. We will, however, dutifully consume the entire box. #rmdo

#rmdo WHATEVER #humor

WHATEVER..
floats your boat..
flaps your flag..
revs your engine..
others?? family friendly only, please. #rmdo

#rmdo A Declaration: EVERYTHING CHANGES! #wisdompoet

To declare is to openly and publicly report an eyewitness observation that affects the listener in an important way by changing the cost in time, money, or expectations. The greatest declaration? Jesus died on the Cross for our sins. Everything drastically changes. #rmdo

#rmdo #weatherchannel #entertainment in #florida finding #nemo #humor

The entertainment for Mary and me in Florida is to watch sunrises and sunsets at the waterfront, and to watch the fun our friends are having finding Nemo up North on the Weatherchannel. #rmdo

#rmdo Caffeinated Sarcastic Blood Suckers #humor

While we were sitting at dock, Mary got a mosquito bite. I didn't. I'm full of caffeine and sarcasm. Mosquitoes are already buzzed, and a sarcastic blood sucker couldn't live with himself. #rmdo

#rmdo Still Looking for Sponge Bob #humor

The view from our table at Squid Lips. Still looking for Sponge Bob. #rmdo

#rmdo Sqid Lips and Sponge Bob #humor

Mary and I are getting ready to go out to a restaurant called Squid Lips on Pineapple Ave in Melbourne FL. We're on the look out for Sponge Bob. #rmdo 

#rmdo Simple Words #wisdompoet #marypic

I'm always amazed how anointing grace can take simple words from an obscure shepherd and make them powerful. #rmdo

#rmdo Feeling Bad for Friends #humor

I see mid Michigan will get up to a foot of snow, East Coast even more, winds up to 50 mph, heavy rains all the way down to Northern Florida. I feel bad for you. Really.
Meanwhile, Central Florida, where Mary and I will be for the next week or so, will be sunny and mildly warm temps, 70's to 80's. #rmdo

#rmdo The Key #humor

We walk into the motel, key in my hand. We stop and decide to turn around. I look for the key. The key is gone. #rmdo

#rmdo COOL TRUCK! #trucks

#rmdc #inigomontoya #geekhumor

#rmdo Sustain Me #wisdompoet #prayer

Sustain me with Your Life & Grace, Heavenly Father. Keep me in Your Heart, Lord Jesus. #rmdo

#rmdo Fashionable #gun toting #michigan girl

I found the perfect fly swatter for Mary, the fashionable gun toting Michigan girl.. in pink camo! #rmdo

#rmdc PLAYER THREE HAS ENTERED THE GAME!! #humor #catpic

PLAYER THREE HAS ENTERED THE GAME!! #rmdc